Santa Threatens to Cancel Christmas

There’s always someone who tries to ruin Christmas, isn’t there?  Whether it’s the people pushing the politically correct ‘Holiday Tree’, or the endless stories of Black Friday mayhem, or the jerks who steal from Salvation Army kettles, or just that one relative who bah-humbugs the joy out of every get-together; someone always does something cringe-worthy around the holiday season.

This year, it’s Greenpeace’s turn.

You might remember the horrible UNICEF ad from two years ago where Santa says “I don’t do poor countries”.  I didn’t think that one could be easily topped, but I’m glad I didn’t place any bets on it.

In their latest, the Greenpeace Santa claims Christmas is in danger of being cancelled because of the melting of the polar ice cap.  His hostage video appeal to the children of the world is filmed in a dripping bunker-like room, indicating that soon the North Pole will be just like… I don’t know, Wisconsin?  Santa’s face is poorly lit, as though perhaps the terrorists have trained just enough flashlights on him for his creepy visage to be seen in all its plaintiveness.  His coat is open, revealing what looks like merely an undershirt underneath, a visual testament to how far ‘global warming’ has unraveled things at the North Pole.  And his final line, delivered with the overdramatic flourish of a B movie, seals the deal:

“My home in the Arctic is fast disappearing, and unless we all act – urgently – then I have to warn you of the possibility of an empty stocking… forevermore.  Please…. Help me.”

See the buzzkill-of-the-season ad for yourself:

There is some good news, though.  CNN actually covered it, even seeming mildly critical and skeptical.  It’s not a win, but it’s not the usual global warming hysteria, either.

Remember the good old days when it was just the Grinch and Ebeneezer Scrooge you had to watch out for?