This week’s RE: Culture is a bit reactive; if you’re looking for something deeper than a review, you might want to check out this. (Click it anyway, it helps me in my war against Something Fishie and Ethan Sabo over who can get the most views on a single post. I’m in currently in third place >.<)
So, The Oscars. And me without my swearin’ words….
[Michelle, send the checks to the normal place]
Sigh. Sometimes writing about culture really sucks; thank God the NFL Scouting Combine is on.
I honestly don’t care about any of the stories I mentioned, primarily because they’ll be garbage news fairly soon. That isn’t to say that you shouldn’t read them and understand what’s going on, you totally should. But “event” based stories like the ones I mentioned usually have extremely short half-lives and get replaced quickly.
Next week, Seth MacFarlane will still epic level d-bag, Jennifer Lawrence will still be America’s Mint Julep, and Michelle Obama will still be First Lady-Pope-Cthulu.
Oi. That happened. Okay, remember when I said that these stories “usually have extremely short half-lives”?
Well, here’s your good ole’ rule-proving exception.
Her Highness deemed it Her responsibility not only to inform the nation of the dangers of unhealthy eating and of the hazards of the bowl cut, but also to bestow the award for Best Picture. With an intro by some old hobo-looking guy, the Queen-Deity-Godhead revealed that
Matt Damon won with Promised Land fake Latino Ben Affleck & Co won with Argo, extolled another great year in American Film (which usually aren’t filmed here) and then vanished. Oh well, at least we didn’t have to pay extra for security on this one.
Since we’re talking about paying extra, I have to wonder if Mrs.O’s guest appearance had anything to do with all the money Hollywood bundled for the Prez & the Dems last year… Were they just showing off yet another trophy last Sunday night? Do you think Michelle Obama really wanted to be a part of that stunt? I don’t know, and regardless of whether she did or didn’t, she was still there. Still there, and still a prominent face (if not forehead) of our once and current regime, reminding me that my team lost and her team won.
Yeah, I’m still bitter about that.
I’m also pretty bitter that The Dark Knight Rises wasn’t up for any awards, a bitterness that I’ve grown accustomed to, being a fan of the comic book movie genre.
The same bitterness applies to The Avengers. It only made a bajillion dollars and brought shawarma to millions across the globe, a feat that warranted a single nomination, best sound or something, which it lost. Nice.
Speaking of sounds, the only moment of the show that I truly enjoyed was this hilarious bit:
Granted, I’m easily amused and a sucker for sight gags. Or lack of sight gags, as the case may be.
Anyway, as I said before, there isn’t some existential truth I’m trying to get at with this article; I just felt like I needed debrief on the awful, self aggrandizing, rotary tugfest that was the Oscars. Besides, I know for a fact that OTHER people on this site are writing substantial columns today, so I figure diversifying for our readers is a good thing!
Also, you should reserve your seat now for @SomethingFishie’s first episode of On The Line with Something Fishie tonight at 10pm eastern!